Clumsy Little Hearts
by munchkinjenny05
Summary: ONESHOT- Rachel is sick of her lovelorn friend pining after Quinn, so decides to help him. Rachel intends to get the girl to admit her real feelings for Noah whatever they might be. Simple, right? Wrong! Puckleberry friendship, mentions Quick and Faberry


**This started out as a Puckleberry friendship story, showing Quinn/Puck from Rachel's POV. I originally intended her to play cupid for the good ship Quick but then this happened. The story morphed into this. I'm sort of happy that it did though. No matter what, I'm not surprised, Quinn is so gay, and therefore, it's hardly a coincidence that Faberry reared its head.**

**I hope this is not too much of a jumble as a result. I tried to keep the Faberry subtle and implied. Subtext is our friend lol.**

_Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now…_

That's all I ever heard from Noah, day to day as he muttered under his breath whilst walking the halls. He never meant it though, and he knew I understood that. He lived for those glimpses. Not that I blame him, Quinn Fabray was, and is, a goddess. He didn't want to pine for her, but he was powerless to prevent it, with every moment that passed he just fell deeper and deeper under her spell. I know what that's like; I've felt the sting of unrequited love burning through my veins. That's why I wanted to help him. He deserved his fairytale, or else to be set free. She had all the power, that angelic blonde.

On my more optimistic days I liked to believe that she didn't understand her thrall and that she was clueless about the effects of her swaying hips in that non-existent red and white skirt, but then I caught her eye and I knew that she was aware. She lived and breathed for the hunger of their eyes. I cannot really blame her either, everybody wants to be desired. There were times when I would have killed to see a spark in Finn's eyes, I would have begged for him to hang off my every gesture like that. She relished her trap, and it was worse on the occasions when she was out of uniform strangely enough. You would think that you couldn't get a more lusted after outfit, and yet the strategically placed sundresses were an even crueller torment. She looked virginal in the white, duck egg or sunflower yellow. It drove the boys wild. I think that if I ever dressed for an audience, which I don't, I would've employed similar tactics. She actually left me in awe, and I believe she knew it, if her smirk was any indication. In any case, I was able to see Noah's attraction.

_I want to wake up, if this is a dream…_

He said that to me often and it always made my heart hurt. It was wrong that he suffered and even more terrible than love was the cause. We shouldn't have been feeling like that. What I failed to understand is why she took the teasing any further; she already had her claws in him, so why kiss him? I hoped it wasn't a joke as I feared. That would be a step too far. If she is an angel, she hides it well, under a mask of misdeeds. Her guarded hazel eyes gave nothing anyway and I cannot ask. Noah had unsuccessfully tried before and it left him bruised and deflated. When I used to feel romantic, I liked to assume that her heart was in it, that she fell victim to her passions and broke free of her walls, but if that were true, why not confess it? She was clearly single and free to love whoever she might wish. Nobody would judge her; Quinn was popular enough to make her own rules. That led me back to the idea of a game, but I couldn't visualise her heart to be that black. Call me a sucker if you like, but that's just what I saw then. The problem was, nobody really established what is under Quinn Fabray's pretty blonde façade. Did she even understand herself? I'm not sure. I wish I could've befriended her in those days, not just to help Noah, but to help the girl too. She seemed to wage a war with herself, acting out a role that everybody else desired her to play. I'm no expert, but she had seemed lost and she was derailing my best friend too as a result.

What could I do though? I was simply a nobody, a loser, a non-entity. Aside from Glee Club I barely even existed at our school. If not for our history, and common ground of being wounded by people that we were thusly doomed to eternally lust after, I doubt Noah would have befriended me at all. I am the only one who knows his secrets, and actually he was much subtler than I with regards to his heartbreak, I guess because he is a guy. It's not macho to shoot devastated looks at a girl I suppose. I was the sole individual who had heard about the kiss too, unless Quinn had told anyone. I highly doubted that she had seen fit to share the information with her Cheerio cronies though; she seemed to only tolerate them because she was forced to. I wondered if she was lonely. I could relate to that, then and now. Noah is a good "bro" as he calls it, but we don't talk about emotional topics unless there is alcohol involved. It would have been nice to have another girl to discuss things with.

I used to lie in wait in the girl's bathroom, but she was always surrounded by hoards of other cheerleaders so I could never get close. I think she did it on purpose to dissuade me from approaching her. It was alright though, I had a better idea. I don't give up if I fall at the first hurdle. I'm Rachel Berry, not some quitter. Noah was having a party and there was no way she wouldn't go. I would make my move and pounce on my "bro's" behalf. I would find out the truth behind the lies and either way I would be there for my friend, through misery or triumph. The alcohol would effectively loosen her tongue, it always worked for Noah.

"Good evening Quinn, may I please have a word with you?" I was aware that my language sounded stilted and overly formal but I felt like the presence of this girl demanded it. I smiled, hoping that I didn't look as awkward as I felt.

"I'm dancing, so unless you can twirl while you chat…" She was joking but I rose to the challenge anyway. Her eyes widened as I spun her. I think I noticed a faint blush that had nothing to do with exertion creeping up her cheeks. She pulled me away from the crowd roughly. I didn't flinch. "Jesus, I didn't actually mean…What's so important Berry?"

I met her hard stare. "It's about Noah, or to be precise, you and Noah. I'm here to ask you not to treat him like this."

I saw the fire in her eyes. "Like what, an object, a plaything? How I treat the boys at this school is no different from their own behaviour, in fact, I'm nicer. I don't humiliate them or throw them away when I've had my fun." The bitter edge to her caught me off-guard. I had no clue that she felt so strongly and I could concede that she wasn't wrong. The football players were like animals.

"I'm sorry, it's just, well, Noah is different, he-" She didn't let me finish. She exhaled sharply.

"I know, Christ, I know, okay?"

"Do you?" The question slipped out before I could prevent it. I immediately regretted speaking as she advanced on me, her anger blooming. We were barely inches apart. I edged away but my back was to the wall, so there was nowhere to go.

"I'm not a slut, Rachel." She snapped. She bit her lip, no doubt remembering the kiss.

"Oh, god I didn't mean to imply…" I stammered nervously under the full force of her glare. Seeing my discomfort she backed off a little and I relaxed a tad, taking short anxious breaths, sure that she wasn't going to hit me or anything. "I'm sorry, Quinn, really, I'm just trying to help my friend, you too if you'd let me. I'm making a mess of it."

"Maybe you should stay out of it then." She replied haughtily, turning away.

"I can't." I retorted quietly. The words were almost swallowed up by the music that followed us although we had escaped to the hallway. A small incline of her head told me that she had heard. She was facing me again. She looked forlorn with her mask stripped away. I reached out my hand to caress her arm comfortingly. "Do you love him?" I urged gently.

"I don't know." Quinn Fabray never expressed anything but utter certainty so I didn't know how to respond. I thought for a moment.

"How did you feel when you kissed him?" It seemed like a good starting point. I searched her face, hoping to draw her out before she could close herself off. If she retreated now then I knew we would never speak of this again. It was now or never. My hand was still on her arm so I applied a firm pressure to remind her that I was still there, like an anchor, a safety net if she needed it. I waited patiently for her to assemble the mirade of her thoughts, wearing a faint smile of reassurance. I longed to say something more but I was terrified of interrupting her.

"It was different than I thought it would be. Puck is a great guy and I like being around him, he's sweet and he makes me laugh but I can't explain it, when we kissed something was missing. I think love should be irresistible, like a drug, you know? My first thought after kissing him, it wasn't I want to do that again, it was, is that it? Am I a terrible person?"

"No, you aren't. I actually agree with you, I always hope to see fireworks when I kiss someone, and if you don't, then it's not your fault and it doesn't make you a bad person to not feel the same. However, you need to be honest with Noah, he doesn't deserve to be strung along, it's not right. He adores you, he's totally infatuated."

"I never meant to hurt him, I don't want that." I yearned to ask her what she did want, but it wasn't my place, I had my answer for Puck, and I would be busy picking up the pieces when Quinn was done talking to him anyway. This was going to get messy. That much was obvious.

"It'll be okay." I muttered, as much for my benefit as hers. She began walking away, I watched her for a moment, wondering how it was that I got myself so thoroughly mixed up in her so fast. She spun and some unidentifiable emotion clouded her hazel eyes.

"Rachel?" I glanced up at her expectantly. "What do they feel like, the fireworks, I mean." The wistful look in her eyes and the mildness of her voice indicated that she wasn't mocking me so I didn't hesitate in answering.

"I haven't felt them yet." I responded, feeling self-conscious. I averted my eyes, sensing rather than seeing her step closer. She took my chin in her hand and tilted my face upwards. I noticed that her slender fingers were trembling.

"Never?" I shook my head. I didn't want to admit to her out loud that I was still without a first kiss. She would think I was childish, a loser. A slight gasp escaped from the blonde as she worked out my secret. "You've never been kissed." It wasn't a question. I sighed. I waited for her mouth to curve into a smug smirk, the type that she frequently wore, but it didn't happen. "Don't be ashamed, it's romantic. I wish I'd waited."

"Tell that to the masses, I don't think they'd feel the same." I muttered biting my lip. I thought of all the ridicule I already endured on a daily basis. It would have been much worse if not for Noah's protection and it was already bad enough.

"I won't tell anyone." I believed her, not just because I had no choice, but because I wanted to and I finally could. She had never looked more sincere.

I grinned. "We're kind of friends now, huh?" She smiled back. It lit up her face making my own smile widen involuntarily. She looked beautiful and I felt a pang of sadness for Noah that he wouldn't be seeing this side of her. She was too pretty for sorrow.

"I'd like that." She disappeared into the crowd without another word. I observed her advancing towards the familiar Mohawk and stopped breathing.

My smile hid. It wasn't fair for my heart to be soaring as my friend's was being destroyed, I knew, but I felt happy. This night had been full of surprises and it wasn't over yet. I surged towards the crowds, closer to both my friends, because that was what Quinn was now too, ready and willing to mop up the fall-out of what I had instigated. Only time would tell whether my interfering had been for the best and if Noah would forgive me for finding the truth, as I prayed that he would. It was disloyal to him, but I couldn't help being excited by the prospect of being friends with Quinn and I didn't to be made to want to take sides.

"Puckerman parties, always eventful." I muttered to myself as I neared the raised voices and open hostility. I didn't regret my actions though, not for an instant. Things couldn't have carried on as they were, not for any of us.


End file.
